Monday, February 1, 2010

paranoia!!! and other stuff

I love hearing from people...phone calls, emails, cards, skypeing..anything! I love giving people news about my life and what's new and all that stuff!! Taking the time to do this is the trick!!

It is a personnal opinion on what is important to you! Your list of priorities. I don't want to be mean to anyone!

I enjoy the fact that my sister took the time and effort to skype with my last night so that our children can see eachother. Yes, she forgot the 3 hours later out here part so that my son was already in bed, but she thought of us and that part was great!

I enjoy the fact that I get xmas card and news from certain friends that I forget to give news to every year! I don't want to forget them. I will try better next year!

I love that my cousin calls me up just to talk and find out how I am doing! I love that my sister-in-law emails me to find out how my knitting is coming along and if I need some help!

Iam thoughtful in return in my own way. I think of calling my mom before going to Costco to see if she needs anything.

I think of the husband and make an extra big meal so he will have a portion to eat when he gets home.

I call my 80 year old aunt just to talk and find out how she is doing.

I email a cousin regularly to encourage eachother in a certain equal goal...don't ask!

So to get to the point...today I received an email from our neighbor at our cabin saying how they haven't heard from us since the holidays (beginning of january to be exact) and what's wrong and how come we haven't given them any news and are we mad at them.....I just get a little annoyed...

If my personal priority isn't as big as this persons is to get news from me that isn't my fault. You want news come and get it!!! Email or whatever and I will be more than happy to give you news, but I just lost interest in giving you news when its total purpose would be to put a bandaid on your psychological wound! Grow up!


On another note, of something else I have to get off my chest....

On Saturday, I saw an advertisement in the paper for a health clinic presentation in the mall with special interest for the elderly. So being the caring person I am!!!....I called up mom and asked her if she would like to go and that I could pick her up.

Mom was very happy and said yes, I brough my second daughter along, knowing I needed to find her a new snowsuit!

So we walked along through all the stands and picked up several interesting things along the way. Then mom needed to sit down, so I find her a place and but her a coffee as one for myself and a hot chocolate and snack for the daughter. While sitting there I realize I am right in front of a great kids clothing store and go to take a look with the daughter to see if there are any sales. Well, there was a great 4,99$ per item sale, on certain things. I got 2 shirts and a pair of pants for that daughter, a shirt and a pair of pants for the other daughter and a shirt for the son!

The daughter still wasn't happy enough and wanted some leggings...which just were no longer part of my budget. So I suggested perhaps grandma will get you something...she took off to go get grandma still sitting with her coffee.

Grandma came in with her and asked me what she wanted. I said "mom, she is 9, I am sure she can show you" . So sure enough mom looked at the leggings the daughter showed her and said it is way too much money. and looked at me for approval, which i didnt give her, but instead said it is 2 pairs for 18 $...all I saw was my mother giving a look of I am not spending a dime today!

The daughter has her head down leaving the store, looking very sad.

So we leave the store to go to the car and grandma looks at the daughter and say "I don't want to you to be upset" and I look at grandma and say, I understand her being upset!

You never know what to get my kids and you don't see them very often and right now you are alone with one of your grandchildren and she is showing you exactly what she wants and you say no!" You could have asked her if there was something else she wanted or offered her something else but it was a closed discussion...so you made a choice so live with the consequences which is she is UPSET!

It has nothing to do with money in my moms case trust me!!

So can i tell you that the drive in the car was pathetic to say the least!! I just changed the subject!! She even had the nerve to say " and what do we do for grandma?"...I didn't even know what the hell the woman wanted me or the child to say to that stupid comment...

Then I had a errand to do, and the grandma and child stayed in the car for 2 minutes...when we (just the child and I) got home. The child told me that grandma asked her if papy ever gave her anything, (keep in mind papy has been dead now for 3 years!) So my mother took advantage to ask this while I was out of the car!!

I am just so disgusted and don't know how to deal with this woman anymore.

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and said "I forgive you mom for not knowing how to be a grandma, I forgive you mom for your immaturity, and I forgive myself for thinking you will change someday" and after that I managed to go to moms quickly and drop off something she had asked me to and act as if nothing happened. Welll I didnt have a smile on my face and it was 2 minutes in her presence. I was the adult because knowing her she would not have called all week.

Oh man! Well i feel a little better getting all of that off my chest!

1 comment:

  1. Ain't family just the best?

    I wish I had some sort of words of wisdom. But it is clear in my little mind that I have none. If I did, I'd be using some of that sage advice myself. In the throws of it myself and can do nothing but keep muddling through and having a beer at the end of the day.

    I do like how you've given yourself permission to just let it be what it is. Be the bigger person and just accept that this is the way it is. It's not the way you'd like it to be, but it is what it is. Sometimes, you just need to vent about it. It still hurts when you see it affect your kids, though.

    I find I've been repeating that to my husband these past few weeks. "You know that's the way 'so and so' is. There's no point in getting angry about it. It is what it is. Let it go."

    And just think. You know exactly what kind of grandma you are not going to be. And that's a good thing.

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